Well, technically she’s still 11 but she’s darn close to 12 so I’ll call her 12 😉
There’s this girl whose blog I read from time to time. Recently she changed it and started posting quotes and other …………… well, what else can I call them except, thought-provoking, articles that I find maddeningly intriguing and ……………… well ………………. thought-provoking. (I won’t get into how I stumbled upon her blog……..unless somebody asks) I keep wanting to post some long philosophical diatribe in response. but then I realize, oh yeah! I forgot! My audience would be about 12-years-old (plus or minus a couple of years), so I restrain myself. Even if they were interested in reading the esoteric, philosophical ramblings of a wacky old man, as amazing as this girl’s thoughts are for somebody her age, I’d feel really silly philosophizing to a bunch of 12(+/-)-year-olds. Her articles really make me want to start a discussion on the subjects, but that wouldn’t be the appropriate place to do it! *sigh* 🙂 So I guess I’ll ramble here, on my blog, where I have no audience at all!! 🙂 And who knows? Maybe I’ll attract an audience some day. 🙂
So what was the latest thought-provoking article she posted that provoked so many thoughts in my thought provoked mind? It was a well known, admittedly somewhat cliché-ish (no, most of her other articles aren’t as cliché-ish but even clichés can be thought provoking 🙂 ) aphorism that goes something like this: I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.
Of course everybody readily agrees with that aphorism. Don’t they? It would be really nice if the whole world actually acted that way. Wouldn’t it? Well……..I suppose. That’s got some really philosophical thoughts rolling around convoluted little brain, such as: Are sure we’d really want to see the real person in a lot of cases? But that’s not the direction I’m leaning tonight. Tonight, I’m thinking about how it applies to me because it’s such a poignant aphorism for me. The reason is: although I might wish that it were true for me, it’s not. The thing is, it sort of implies a choice that isn’t really a valid choice. It’s a false dilemma. It implies that there are only two choices. Either you show your true self to the world and let some people hate you, or you hide your true self and most people will love you for somebody you aren’t.
Of course the philosophical debate is starting to become obvious at this point. For one thing, it’s overly simplistic. We all hide portions of ourself and reveal other portions. Not only that, the portions we hide or reveal can vary from environment to environment. Many people aren’t aware that they do this and obviously some do it more than others, but we all do it. It’s especially apropos for me because I’ve always been somewhat of a chameleon. When I hung out with cowboys, I wore cowboy boots and hats, when I hung out with my fellow soldiers in the army, I cussed like a drunken …… um …….. soldier ……………. or, um, something like that! lol!
Maybe that’s just the way I am. Or maybe it all started when I was 14 and well ………… I’ll talk about that one later. It’s complicated. For now, let’s just say I spent three years teaching myself how to appear to be a different person because kids didn’t like me much the way I was.
At any rate, I eventually realized that I can’t stand being hated but can’t stand hiding who I really am either. So, in time, I found the truth of the fact that the aphorism is a false dilemma and there is, indeed, at least one other choice. I developed a third alternative. I learned that, for me, it’s better to be unknown than to be loved for who I’m not or to be hated for who I am.
But I guess I freaked her out or something because just after I posted this, she protected her blog. It could just be coincidence because she was going through some pretty heavy emotional stuff that she wouldn’t talk about and I don’t think I said anything particularly freaky on my blog (which I really doubt she reads anyway) or as comments on her blog, but at any rate, I guess I won’t be reading any more thought-provoking articles from a 12-year-old any more. *sigh* 😦